July 13, 2013. Greely, Ontario. Acclaim Pro Wrestling has it’s 3 year anniversary show. HOT! This was my first APW show and it was a great starting point for me! Very familiar with most of the talent on the card but I’m glad I got to see some different people for a change. Such a fun night that I plan on going to more in the future! Let’s get to the results.
- The Food Fighters (Pasquale The Italian Chef & Bastion Snow) def. The Homeless Hunks (Deeno & Cheeky). I’m going on record here by saying that I think Pasquale The Italian Chef is one of the funniest in-ring performers I’ve ever seen! Bastion is a cool crustacean too! The Homeless Hunks are otherwise known as the Incredible Hunks or Hollywood Hunks…depending on which fed they’re at. Since this was my 1st show here, I’m not really sure what the story is on why they are homeless. Apparently they are starving too since they were talking about eating Bastion! They even had cutlery! They kept biting him on his arm, I mean, claw and at one point they were chewing on his eyeballs! In other words, this was a highly entertaining match. Apparently, the Hunks weren’t hungry enough for the win though. Chock one up for the good guys.
- Payne “The Hellraizer” beat Commander Rick Sniper. Maybe I shouldn’t say this but I’m going to anyway. Payne was a kid that was into backyard wrestling along with others around my area when we were younger. They always wanted me to wrestle because I was a bigger guy. I never did. Now look at him! He has turned himself into a wrecking machine! He is an accomplished wrestler on the Ontario Indy scene and I couldn’t be happier at seeing him in the ring at this event. Congratulations kid. Oh yeah, Sniper was there too.
- Static Shock (Ray Static & KL Shock) def. Catalyst & Harley Davison. Random thoughts. Static Shock seem to be popping up all over the place. People must like them. Harley was there too(or Charlie as I call him). I like Catalyst but I miss his usual tag team partner in Total Devastation (CJ Felony…where are you?). Next.
- Myzery The Barbarian beat Shooter Storm. Right before this match, the ring announcer was interrupted by Shooter (for lack of a better term…) shooting his mouth off and issuing a challenge to anybody in the back. After all, he was featured in the Pro Wrestling Illustrated’s “PWI 500” and on the Jerry Springer Show(go ahead…look it up!!). Out came Myzery The Barbarian. Challenge accepted. My first time seeing Myzery but he’s the partner of the American Barbarian or Damien The Barbarian, whichever. You can tell they were influenced by Nord The Barbarian and Bruiser Brody as they yell out “HUSS!!” Anyway, Shooter gave him a little bit of a hard time but was all for nothing as he was quickly put away following a fierce double underhook piledriver! Holy crap…I thought he was dead! Awesome! I should probably mention here that Shooter is another guy from my area that I talked about before. He now lives in Florida and doing what he loves best…wrestling! Good for you my friend.
- “Remarkably Average” Dan Barry & “The All-American Canadian” Addy Starr def. Caster McFear & Portia Perez; “Big Shug” Shaun McMillan & “The Suicide Blond” Xandra Bale; “Dirty” Buxx Belmar & “The Work Of Art” Jodi D’Milo in a Fatal 4-Way Inter-Gender Tag Team Match. Really good match featuring all sorts of characters! I hadn’t seen Portia Perez in quite a long time and was glad to see her! Like that girl. Too much happened to type here so I’ll just mention a couple highlights. Xandra Bale launching off the top rope onto Buxx and Jodi on the floor, “Dirty” Buxx living up to his name a minimum of 3 times during the match (he had a piece of Pasquale’s bread and some water in his mouth and “puked” it up in front of my friend LeAnne; He “puked” up some water onto the chest of Addy Starr as she lay prone on the mat; and he pulled a condom out of his jean shorts, proceeded to stick it in his mouth then pull it out and dump the, uh, contents. Man, he’s dirty!) and this was also the last match for Caster McFear. At the end, his trainer and other wrestlers came out as a tribute to him. Very respectful. Hey Caster, thanks for all the times you called me a “Stupid Extra!”
- “Suplex Machine” Courtney Rush def. “The Mountain” Vanessa Kraven to retain the APW Women’s Championship. Very familiar with Vanessa Kraven from C*4 but this was my first time seeing Courtney Rush. I hope to see a whole lot more of her though! I think I might have a new favorite female wrestler. A fine job by both women and it seemed liked Kraven was getting the better of Rush so she decided to head back to the locker room. That is until she was chased back to the ring by Addy Starr & Xandra Bale. Loved the ending…Rush brought her title belt into the ring to hit Kraven with but she changed her mind. While the ref was down,(yes, ref bump) she threw the belt to Kraven and took a dive. The referee came to and saw Rush on the mat while Kraven had the belt in her hands. Instant DQ! I know, it’s been done before but everything is much better when the ladies are involved!!
- Tabarnak de Team(Mathieu St. Jacques & Thomas “The Pipes” Dubois) beat Jae Rukin & “All Starter” Brent B. to retain the APW Tag Team Championships.Two great tag teams. I like both of them and I’d watch them face each other at every show if I could. TdT keeps the belts in this hard hitting yet high flying match.
- “Afterparty” Cecil Nyx, “Charming” Chaz Lovely & Sexxxy Eddy def. “Superstar” Shayne Hawke, John Greed & Sh!tty. This was a 6 Man Tag Team Match that featured The Afterparty (don’t think they are known as that here) with a mystery partner. Out comes Sexxxy Eddy. Everybody knows about Eddy. If you don’t look him up on YouTube! This was a great match and there were a ton of laughs. Put it this way, just when you try to tell your non-wrestling friends that it isn’t gay(Not being disrespectful to homosexuals…it’s a word we use…get over yourselves!)**, there proceeds to be a 7 man groping! Yes, referee Serge St. Denis was involved. Funny as hell! This “groping” ended with something I’m having trouble describing but I will say it involved Eddy doing a pelvic thrust and it following the chain all the way to the last man…no way to put in words you really had to see it. During the match, the man with the “5 Extra Pounds in his trunks” came over to me, as I was covering my eyes so I didn’t have to see said 5 lbs., and attempted to rest them on my leg. What the hell is going on around here? Hilarious stuff guys!
- Damien The Barbarian def. Darrko to win the APW Heavyweight Championship. If you haven’t heard of Darrko do yourself a favor and look him up! This man is 7 feet tall and the WWE is “well aware of him”. I’m actually quite frightened of the monster myself. Very intimidating. Damien wins the title to add to his waist, his arms and a table as he’s now the MPW, CGPW, APW and some other fed’s champion!(He told me he hasn’t defended it in over 8 months). Damien won by first hitting the massive Darrko in the mask with the belt and then choking him out. It took a while but the ref raised his arm and it fell to the mat three times…done. I was shocked. I guess just because Darrko is so massive. Great win for Damien. Congratulations!
- “MVP” Michael Von Payton def. Colt Cabana to retain the APW Interprovincial Championship. MVP usually gets the big names that go to the Indy shows in Ontario. There’s a reason for it. He’s that good. I like the guy too. Colt Cabana is a favorite of This Week In Pro Wrestling‘s own Mike Debyah and mine as well. I’ve met him on several occasions so I have a lot of his merchandise but like TWIPW‘s friend Brian J. once said, “I feel like I should just give him money because I listen to his podcast!” I decided to give him a little extra by buying only a button. He picked out three for me. Can’t even give him money! What a guy. You know you are in for a great match when you see his name on the marquee(does anybody still say that? Marquee?) These guys gave one heck of a performance. MVP gets the win by grabbing the ropes but Colt gets the last word as he hits the GTS on him. (Tribute to his best friend CM Punk). Great main event!
This was a really fun, action packed show despite the fact that it was like 120 degrees inside the Greely Legion! The wrestlers made it a really memorable night and I was happy to be a wrestling fan. Great job everyone! The next event is Saturday, September 14th when Acclaim Pro Wrestling presents: Unstable 2013. Go to it!
Cheap Plug: Listen to “The Art Of Wrestling With Colt Cabana” on iTunes here: https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/art-of-wrestling/id385017460?mt=2
Also check out www.welovecolt.com
Here’s some random pics! Enjoy!
** The opinions in this review do not necessarily reflect those of This Week In Pro Wrestling. Only Ryan P. McGovern. Take that ya bastiches!